Nerd World: Cool away messages for IMing

These away messages are from mugglenet.com, I didn't make them I just thought they were cool.

Defeating the Dark Lord, back in a few.
I have recently Apparated and I plan to Disapparate and Apparate back to where I Disapparated from momentarily.
They say the away message chooses the wizard.
I would tell you where I am, but then I'd have to curse you.
Not here right now, but send me an owl!
Two words: Cornish Pixies
"Remember Harry, it is our choice of away message that shows who we truly are..."
"Humans have a knack for choosing precisely the away messages that are worst for them..."
Using the Time-Turner, be back soon...Using the Time-Turner, be back soon...Using the Time-Turner, be back soon...

"Seeing away messages no one else can see isn't a good sign, even in the Wizarding World."
"Haven't I already told you that Mudbloods doesn't matter to me anymore, for many months my new target has been...finding a good away message."

"But.. I can't be.. aim addicted.. I'm (your screenname), just (your screenname)!"
Fluffy ate me.
Dear %n,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to read my away message. Leave your Owl number and I will get back to you ASAP.
Be Right Back, just blowing up my aunt... What? It's just a hobby..
Sorry, there seems to be an elf on my bed urging me to never return to school. Something about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named or something...Be right back...
Fear of the away message only creates fear of AIM itself . . .
Now if you two don't mind I'm going away before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed, or worse, instant messaged.
A Basilisk stole my other away messages, be back when I get them back
You have reached the offices of the Supreme Lord Voldemort. His Exquisite Evilness is in a meeting with his Eaters, crafting deviously sinister plans for the demise of one Harold Potter. Please try again after the All Powerful Dark Master has conquered the Earth. Thank you and have a nice day.
My homework's eating my dog
Sorry, I'm busy trying to come up with horrific ways to Professor Umbridge.
I'm either,
1. Thwarting Lord Voldermort's latest attempt to kill me
2. a Basilisk
3. Freeing a convicted prisoner that happens to be my godfather
4. Winning the Triwizard Tournament
5. Going to the Ministry of Magic without permission on horses that only me, Luna Lovegood and Neville can see.
Lost in the Forest, be back when I get out.
My invisibility cloak has fallen over my keyboard, but I'll be back as soon as I can find the keys ...
Oh honestly...doesn't anyone ever read? Obviously I'm not here right now. I'm busy reading 'AIM, A History'
Be right back, I'm in detention with Umbrige.
I solemnly swear I am up to no good...be right back...
Dungbombs + throwing them at filch = brb
Feedin' Dumbledore some green stuff... brb
I'm away... see ya later, Umbridge r!
De-gnoming my backyard, be back in a few!
Looking for a toad... A boy named Neville's lost one.
It does not do to dwell on AIM and forget to live.
Accio Away Message!
Fresh out of skiving snackboxes, so I'm doing my homework.
Using the time turner, be back 2 hours ago.
I would be playing Quidditch, but I'm a Muggle and have to resort to computer games.
I'm in Divination class right now, learning how to use a crystal ball... it seems like there's going to be loads of fog tonight.
Ronald would like me to tell you that Seamus told him that Dean was told by Parvati that I'm away.
Sorry I'm not at my computer right now. My wand backfired and i'm now in the bathroom barfing up slugs